Friend Is A Four-Letter Word (Roxy)

[Eris Raptis]

Eris took a shortcut between Thunderbird tower and the Wampus entrance. Stuffing her mask and robe back into her bag, she stepped out into the hallway around the corner from where she was to meet Roxy. Was it possible to be more nervous? She didn't think so. A few deeps breaths and a mental pep talk later, Eris rounded the corner and marched toward the dormitory entrance with purpose. Her stomach felt sour and her skin felt clammy. Don't throw up, don't throw up, she repeated in her head like a mantra.

She considered turning around and just going to her own dorm or even heading back to Abel's. But she could see Roxy ahead. That meant Roxy could most certainly see her. If her best friend didn't kill her in a fit of passionate rage, Eris might die from whatever feeling was eating away at her insides. "Roxy," she eked out past the lump in her throat as she approached the Wampus.

[Roxy Silverling]

Roxy saw Eris approaching, it was all she could do to keep herself from running to her and wrapping her arms around the other girl. She smiled, a somewhat sadistic smile, "You came," she said, bouncing slightly on her feet. "I wasn't sure you would, but here you are and without your dumb shadow. I knew you'd have it in you."

She walked forward and tried to wrap her arms around Eris in an embrace, whispering in her ear, "I've missed you so much. I knew you loved me more than your stupid flyboy. I knew if you came that you would be rid of him."

[Eris Raptis]

Eris stiffened then reluctantly returned the hug. It felt so familiar, so nice, but it was breaking her heart. She pulled away, shaking her head. "Roxy, I... I do love you, but I..." their eyes met briefly before she looked away. "I'm not leaving Abel."

She couldn't bear to look at Roxy. To see the pain or anger. The confusion. The lost hope. "I miss you and I want to be friends again," Eris said, bracing herself. "That's what the rose and quote meant."

[Roxy Silverling]

Her arms fell down to her sides slowly, "What?" she looked Eris up and down. "If you're not leaving him then why did you come here?" She backed away from Eris several steps, her jaw drew tight, anger and hurt in her eyes and her very stance.

"You miss me and want to be friends again?" she spat out, "That's why you called me out here? You want your cake and to eat it too. You selfish bitch. You wanna keep riding his dick but have me to watch your fucking back like old times."

[Eris Raptis]

"I needed to tell you in person because you weren't getting it," Eris looked to her and spoke softly, trying not to draw any unwanted attention. Why was she the bad guy in this situation? For once, she was trying to do the right thing. She wasn't the one trying to ruin a relationship for her own gains. Despite her best efforts to keep her apathetic cool, tears stung her eyes. Roxy's words cut like knives. She hadn't expected this to go well, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"I'm being selfish? So, I can't have a boyfriend and a friend? I'm only allowed one or the other? And, for what it's worth, my being with Abel isn't even about sex," she responded, dropping her bag to the floor and taking a couple of steps toward Roxy. "I don't need you to watch my back. I never have. I've needed you in a lot of ways, but I've never needed your protection or backup. Why all of this now? You've had three years since we broke up to tell me you need me, too."

Eris took another step forward. Tears clung desperately to her lashes, threatening to fall. "It's never bothered you before when I was with someone else. You encouraged it, cheered me on. You even suggested I date someone. If you wanted that someone to be you, why not just say so?" she said, three years of buried angst and anguish spilling forth unfettered. "I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I'm still in love with you, Roxy. You've had your chance, but you didn't want me until you couldn't have me. You don't love me, you just don't want me to fall in love with someone else. You're the selfish bitch."

[Roxy Silverling]

"I thought you knew, with all the things I've done for you, these past three years," Roxy spat out. "It hurt every time you hooked up with someone else, but I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want you to see me as some needy little bitch. He was supposed to be one and done, your white whale the greatest catch that you would throw back into the pool when you were done. You weren't supposed to date him!"

"If you're still in love with me, prove it by being with me," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "What's so great about him that you can't let him go? Are you falling for him and his smooth ways? He'll just end up hurting you in the end. That's what his kind does. It's what you've done to so many people, including me."

"I'm selfish for wanting to be with you? For not wanting you to fall for someone else? That's rich," she said with a cruel laugh. "All I've ever wanted was you."

[Eris Raptis]

"No, I had no idea. I"m not a mind reader, Roxy. You should know by now I prefer a more direct approach," Eris crossed her arms, too. At least she had Roxy talking and not swinging her fist or wand. "I wouldn't have thought you were needy. I didn't say anything because I value our friendship and didn't want to scare you off. You were the only person I had, and I wasn't going to screw that up."

Eris, tired of fighting it, let a couple of tears fall, arms tightening around herself. It was a rare site, seeing her this vulnerable. Only Abel and Roxy had seen this side of her. "Why is that the only choice? All or nothing?" she croaked out, hastily wiping her cheeks with the heel of her hands before crossing her arms again. "Maybe I am falling for him, and maybe he will end up hurting me, but that's a chance I'm willing to take. I can handle it because I'm half expecting it. We're still learning to trust each other and open up to each other. I can't handle being hurt by you because I never thought it would happen in a million years. But here we are."

She shook her head, swallowing past the lump in her throat. "You keep saying that, but it's hard to believe," she said, taking a slow step forward. Now they were only a couple of steps apart. "You were my real white whale."

[Roxy Silverling]

"Because you can't love two people, otherwise you were never really in love with the first person," Roxy said, arms still crossed in front of her. "You're on a fool's errand and it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it."

She watched her approach and took a step backward, tears glistening in her own crazed eyes. "You hurt me first. You're the reason that hick beat the piss out of me and landed me in the hospital. I remember my rose then too."

"Ha, I'm your real white whale huh? Did you tell him the same thing? I bet you told him he was your white whale. Sorry, but Captain Ahab can only have one whale to chase, so who is it going to be? Me or him?"

[Eris Raptis]

"I don't love Abel," Eris grimaced. "I'm not in love with two people. Just because I feel some way about him doesn't mean I love him. It's nice being with someone that's up front about their feelings. Someone that's direct."

Her grimaced deepened, bottom lip trembling as she spoke. "You stabbed me in the back, spreading rumors about me," Eris took another step forward, undeterred by Roxy's step back. "I was hurt and acted on impulse. I shouldn't have told Jaina. I should have talked to you. I'll never forgive myself for that. But you're the one that drew first blood."

Eris smiled sadly. "I did. But only because I didn't realize until now that you're the white whale," she said, shedding another tear or two. "And like Moby Dick, you'll just end up drowning me."

[Roxy Silverling]

"I started the rumor to get you to break things off with him, but it didn't work, it only drove you deeper into his damn arms," she said, taking another step backward. She began shaking her head and held up a hand toward Eris, "Stop. Just stop. If you don't want to be with me, then just leave," she said. "No need to drown from this whale."

"Besides, I think your boyfriend has heard enough," she said as she motioned behind Eris. "That should prove to be an interesting discussion. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that, but alas I'm not destined for that. You've done enough damage to me as it is Eris. Go ahead and ruin him too. Hell he probably deserves it."

[Eris Raptis]

Eris didn't see how that would possibly break them up, but she figured it somehow made sense in Roxy's head. Before she could respond, Roxy motioned to Abel, who had apparently been standing there for a little while. She set her jaw, refusing to turn around just yet. "I don't even know you anymore, Roxy," she said, voice cracking slightly. "You're not the girl I fell in love with. And you're certainly not my friend."

And now she would have to defend herself against Abel, who would likely completely misconstrue the things she had said to Roxy. Eris was going to lose them both, probably, and end up all alone. Quickly swiping her wrists across her eyes and attempting to compose herself, she turned to face her boyfriend.

[Abel Meridian]

He had heard quite a bit of their conversation but had purposefully stayed out of it so that Eris could get out what she needed to get out. He felt a little hurt at the white whale comment, as she had told him just a few hours prior that he was her white whale. The entire thing sounded like she was begging a lover to come back to her. The fact that she was in love with Roxy was troubling him as well, because how could she ever fall in love with him if she was already in love with someone else.

He felt a little betrayed, and it stung quite a bit. He looked at Eris, his face dangerously neutral, his mask firmly in place, especially out here in the open and with Roxy so near. When Eris turned around to face him he didn't know what to say or do. He had never been in this position before, thus wasn't sure how to act.

[Eris Raptis]

Eris didn't like the vibes she was getting from Abel. The stoic expression combined with his silence made her feel sick to her stomach with dread. She worked her jaw a bit, as if trying to produce words, but none came. Finally, she just shook her head and started walking, snatching her bag up off the ground and slinging it over her shoulder as she went. Roxy was right. She'd just ruin him, too. All she wanted was to have her boyfriend and her friend, and now it was likely that she wouldn't have either. She passed by Abel at a leisurely pace, staring straight ahead because she look him in his expressionless face. There was no glance back to see if he followed, but she did listen for footsteps.

[Abel Meridian]

He turned as she walked right past him, wanting to grab her by the arm to stop her, but he wouldn't have words with her in front of Roxy who was now just leaning against the Wampus door. He followed Eris, his long legs helping him catch up to her. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing the same thing he had been earlier, only now he had a plaid over shirt on over his black tank top.

After he felt they walked out of Roxy's sight, he picked up the pace and walked beside Eris, "Are you going to stop so we can talk, or what?" he asked. He needed a safe place to talk to her, where he could let his mask down. He was risking a lot in doing so, but he felt like, in the end, she was worth it.

[Eris Raptis]

Eris stopped in her tracks, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Okay. Let's talk," she said, barely turning her head to regard him with a sidelong glance. "i don't know how much of that you heard, but I know you probably didn't like any of it. If you're going to break up with me, get on with it. I'd prefer to get all my heartbreak in one go."

She was behind a mask because, otherwise, she'd be a sobbing mess, probably begging him for forgiveness like some desperate lovesick fool. Her heart was already in pieces, might as well grind it into a fine powder. The sooner the better, so she could wall off her heart again to keep from ever feeling this sort of pain ever again. "She was right, you know," Eris said flatly, turning her head a bit more. "I'll just ruin you, too."